I Write Blogs I Think are Keen / My Mailbox is a Time Machine
March 7, 2014 1 Comment
An official notification arrived in my mailbox last October, trumpeting the weekend liquidation of “hundreds of new and used cars, trucks, vans and SUVs” at a local dealership. Imagine my shock, then, when I received the exact same notice again this very week.
The obvious yellowing of the one on the left should be ample proof of its provenance.
How mysterious! These are not similar documents spaced four months apart; no, they are utterly identical, and yet both contain incontrovertible proof that they exist out of sync with the rest of the world. Observe:
October 2013
March 2014
Both the first ever edition – and yet both slated for spring! Early March, especially in New England, is spring only in the delirious dreams of snowed-in shovel-bearers huddled under blankets, but at least it’s in the right ballpark, unlike October. So is now the proper time for this flyer? Alas, no!
October 2013
March 2014
As is plainly visible on this universally recognized Trade Assistance Voucher, the year is 2013. Such a solid financial certificate would never be approved and signed with an inaccurate date. Moreover, it is utterly impossible for this sale to be repeated, as both flyers clearly state that it will not be.
October 2013
March 2014
The lack of actual sale dates, only references to “Thursday through Sunday”, makes only one conclusion possible: that both flyers traveled through time from Spring of 2013, approximately seven and 11 months into the future respectively. Woah, right?
In fact, this very blog entry was posted from nearly eight years in the past.
Thus far, no other chronologically displaced mail has caught my attention, but it’s only a matter of – if you’ll excuse the expression – time.
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